Storeytime: Tale of a Noob

Every Wednesday, a self-absorbed writer posts an article of virtually no interest to anyone but themselves, under the vague catchall of “Storytime!”

Phase 1: We had pooled some money together and bought a laptop. Looking back now, it was a piece of shit, but we thought it was pretty sweet. My friend at the time was playing Final Fantasy online he introduced me to the game. I picked up a copy and played it a little on and off. Then I moved and found myself caught up in work, 12 hour days 6 days a week, games were not a priority. If I found the time to make dinner, wash laundry, or buy groceries I was lucky. My brother however, made good use of my FFXI account, playing it every day and night.. He explored a world that I never got the chance to. He discovered the beauty of the MMORPG, this would later result in my re-introduction to the genre. He had also discovered online communication via messaging and email. One of his online friends played a different MMORPG, it was a strange cartoony feeling game called World of Warcraft. His friend introduced him to the game and he liked it more than Final Fantasy. As he played it, my work schedual changed, allowing me to play games more frequently. I picked up a copy and rolled a warrior on a PvP server and was ganked constantly. This made me hate my enemies, it also caused me to roll a new character on a PvE server. We do not talk about PvE servers now. Shortly after I moved again and had no internet and stoped playing.

Phase 2: The second time I picked up the game was when my brother-in-law (Whipples) started playing. He had discovered this amazing thing called twinking. This is where you level a character to a certain “bracket” (10, 19, 29, 39 and so on,) and get them the best possible gear in the game. I liked this idea, and I chose to make a shaman, Whipples had a hunter. We leveled these to 19, then to 29. Twinking along the way. I soon realised this was expensive, and I started using the AH to build wealth. I got up to about 1,000g, starting with a few lucky drops and then buying and selling stuff. About then the Burning Crusade came out, we heard tales of “Daily Quests” and all the money to be made. We then decided to create mains, and a guild. We thought we were being funny and used the guild name “Schiavos Vegetables” and name ourselves after vegetables. To better suit these names we chose Tauren as our race he was Carrot and I was Cuccumber. Later on the guild name was forcibly changed to “Carrot’s Guild.” My name was flagged for a rename, now my hunter is known as Capsicum. We started a new guild and got on with our leveling. Work once again got in my way.. I was swindled out of $1,000 and the guy I was working for skipped town. I got back to playing again, my hunter at level 55, Carrot at 60.

Phase 3: I was trying to catch up to Carrots 5 level advantage. It was impossible. After a while, I finaly hit 70, that was when I was invited into a guild that raided. The OP BM huntard that I was, could top the dps charts without gems chants or even a main hand weapon. [Hellboar’s Carving Blade] was all I ever needed. I showed up for all the raids I could, had a blast, Then went back to getting all the best gear I could for my twinks. Never even thinking for a moment that my hunter was in disarray. Then our guild mad a raiding breakthrough. The guild officers merged us with Pango Honoratus, I then got to see really big dps numbers, so gemmed and enchanted my gear. We killed things and time went on. Wrath of the Lich King was released, and we killed more things. Then through a tragic sequence of events, my friends convinced me to stop playing WoW, and go do real world things with them. I practically missed ulduar because of this.

Phase 4: I started playing again for the last time. I was still a bad hunter, but I tried hard. I got gear, got rid of my carving blade, leveled my professions, and pulled my head out of my ass. J/k the carving blade was gone a while before I came back. I had to catch up to remind people why I was still in the guild. This took some doing on my part but with twinking dead there were no distractions. I now feel I’m not quite the noob I once was, but there is always room for improvement. Phase 4 was undoubtably the phase I saw the most growth in, however, the other phases were what made this possible.

With the terribad player in me mostly defeated I’ll see where Cataclysm takes things. In closing don’t judge noobs too harshly, kill all alliance, and go roll a Troll Druid!


About Capsicum

Raised with no outside influence, in a little white box, in a large green field, surrounded with mountains and trees and water.
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